Stand Up Comedy Quotes and Captions for Instagram

There are many types of comedy, but one of the oldest is stand up comedy. Originally performed in front of more traditional forms of entertainment like theatres, comedy clubs, and parties, stand up comedy has moved online in recent years. But you’ll surely agree with me that stand up comedy is the best. Well, the simple fact is that stand up comedy is a great exercise to relieve stress, and it also makes you a much happier person in general. If you have an awesome stand-up routine, the awesome feeling you get from performing will certainly help you keep producing awesome jokes!

Here are some stand-up comedy quotes and captions for Instagram for you to choose from. Be sure to use as many as you want or your Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat.

Contents on this Page hide

I. Stand Up Comedy Lines

II. Best Stand Up Comedy Captions

Stand Up Comedy Lines

I think I’ll start a comedy club. “This is the comedy club, if you’re brave enough to commit, you’re in.”
Yo bro! Do you like comedy? Then you’ll like our comedy! Comedy like it’s the end of your career!
What a difference a year makes. What a difference a year makes. It’s been a year since I found love on a hopeless train
Ahhhh, October. The month of cosy mysteries, spooky decorations and… actually, that’s about it. Let’s just have a laugh, already.
Stand up comedy shows are now “on fleek”
This weekend is the perfect time to clear your schedule and spend some quality time with yourself. Laughing is great for your health
Everyone’s got a joke… but how do you make it *your* joke?
Life is really just a series of problems that you have to solve one way or another. You can either laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh.
What do you call a comedian that used to be funny but isn’t anymore? [Laughs]
In life, as in comedy, it takes a lot of courage to rest with being yourself and to be that with others.
I’m great at doing impressions. Need to entertain a crowd? Ask me to do your friends or family member’s voices! #talent
Last time I told a joke was 2 years ago. Let’s start this off with a simple joke I’m gonna play on you guys.
I’m giving everyone in here, especially you young girls, advice that I wish I got when I was 15. And if you’re already mature, do me a favour and pass this message along to girls coming up behind you.
The other day I walked into a bar because I wanted to touch alcohol instead of just look at it.
What is your friend zone? The area surrounding Missoula, Montana.
Smiling at those who pretend to know me #comedy #standupcomedy
Let’s talk about why there are so many transgender jokes.
I started a joke, but then I got tired of it!
I’m sick of all these try hards on social media trying to be funny #NoStoryTelling
A German word that I use to describe the moment when you realize your jokes aren’t landing, your act isn’t drawing, and you might as well pack it up before the crowd turns on you.
This is your wake up call…to look like you got punched in the face.’ (laughs). (Oh, I can’t breathe…(from laughter)
Looking for the funniest comedians in America. Stand Up Nation is coming to Comedy Central…
Hey guys, welcome to my channel. I’m a stand-up comedian.
Tonight’s best comedy– different sides of the same story.
Everyone can make me laugh. But not everyone can make me laugh like my sister.
You don’t need my jokes. I can already feel you laughing right now.
My mom & I have a joke language. If I get angry, she says “what’s up?” and I’ll say something like “cucumber” and she knows that means angry.
Some comedians make people laugh, I make people uncomfortable. I’m a universal medicine.
Tune in to Seeso for a special lineup of handpicked, new comedy specials from top comedians.
I never thought that I would say this but Tom Segura makes me want to clean my room… #comedy
Good things happen when it’s just you, a mic, and a stage.
This is a show, a show about a show.

Best Stand Up Comedy Captions

I work out so I can eat what I want, drink whole milk, drink wine, & drink whiskey.
Loving somebody doesn’t make them perfect. liking somebody still makes them good enough for you.
Sharing the laughs we had while recording our latest album. Stay tuned for more stuff like this!
When someone does comedy, I love it.
When comedy is done right it can make you feel like you are screaming with laughter at the top of your lungs with tears rolling down your face.
Life can be HARD, but standing ovations don’t happen without RISING TO THE OCCASION. So when opportunity knocks, answer with a standup routine that knocks ‘em out of their seats!
Just because my clothes are funny doesn’t mean I have to be.
We humans laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.
I love stand up comedy so much *laughs hysterically*
Today’s the day. Let’s laugh. Let’s be a part of it. Buy a ticket and get on the road to a great night.
I’ll tell you a joke. A joke that’s not funny. About a shoe…er I mean clown.
I love stand up comedy, but I’m so scared to get on stage and perform.
In order to be a comedian, you have to have the confidence not to defend an imaginary point of view. That’s how a comedian is a good player.
I can’t remember a wedding where I didn’t laugh. – Jerry Seinfeld
I feel like the only places I wanna go are Disney World and a comedy club.
We have so much respect for comedians and the craft of comedy, so we wanted to create captions that would make people laugh.
20 years of laughter later and I’m still screaming on stage – it never gets old. #boom #blessed
Laughter is the best medicine Do I make you smile with what I say?
Life is full of shocks, but it’s never as bad as a Kevin James movie!
No matter how bad your day is going, you can always laugh.
I love stand up comedy. I really, really do. If this thing doesn’t work out for me, I think I might give it a shot.
This weekend, go see a comedy show—anywhere you can find one. Make sure to share your favourite joke with us.
You can never trust a comedian whose eyebrows don’t match” – Dave Barry
Good comedy doesn’t happen, like magic. If you’re lucky, it happens like biology. Your brain makes funny chemicals. If you’re not alive like that, it’s hard to get your funny on.
A comedian’s joke travels twice as fast as a regular person’s. – Mitch Hedberg
So you want to be a comedian?
It’s a nervous thing, comedy. Stand-up is the only art form where you have to do it in front of a stranger.
A recent study found the number one regret of the dying is not following their dreams. So I ran with mine…#comedy
Comedy brings the family together every Thursday night. Hook it up with some laughs! #fb
Seriously, couldn’t have asked for better fans. Thank you so much to everyone who came out last night. You were all so amazing.
I believe in the 12-year-old in all of us.
I am a comedian. Who you gonna call? I’m amazing!
I’m not a good cook but I consider myself a master of distraction?
It’s a perfect date night. You laugh, you clap at the jokes, and if things go well you’ll get a second date. #comedy
Engaging comedy is tragedy plus time… tragedy plus distance.
Jokes are jokes lol
I love stand up comedy because when you see a comedian, they are not…
Inspiring people to get up and go to a comedy club
Don’t talk to me until you’ve hired a comedian… and a good one at that!
Let’s go to the Comedy Cellar. I hear Dave Attell is there. I hear he’s hilarious
All jokes aside, I’ve been told my whole life that I should be a comedian. But I think I’m actually more of a reality TV star.
Comedy is like life, you make the best out of the worst situation— because it usually is.
I just bought a stand-up comedy special on my iPhone. Is that weird?
A photo of a comedian on stage.
I like to stand up for things. Well, I like to stand on my feet at least. It’s where my best ideas happen.
Let me live that showbiz moment I never had. – Mike Birbiglia
Writing jokes is like building a case against the audience.
Life is absurd. That’s why it’s funny. -Lily Tomlin
How do you choose your words? Like, I wanted to write here *pointing down* but I came up here.